The Habits That Made Me Gain 30lbs!

About a week before I got married, I found out my mom had breast cancer.

I’m happy to report she’s cancer-free now, but at the time it hit me hard. When things get difficult, I have a bad habit of looking for distractions. Maybe it’s avoidance, maybe it’s stress relief… probably both.

I didn’t let the news ruin my wedding, it was in the back of my mind, but I was in Vegas, about to get married, so when in Vegas do as the Vegans do (Vegians?)… and drank.

Around that same time, I was offered the head coaching position for modified football at Sullivan West. I said yes and then did the totally reasonable thing and procrastinated until about two weeks before the season started.

I’ve been coaching since 2010, but this was my first year as a head coach. It’s one thing to be the assistant coach — it’s easy for the crowd, and honestly for me, to blame all the bad things on somebody else. But now that somebody else was me.

One of my favorite books is The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck. Interestingly enough, one of the main points of the book is what to give a fuck about.

At that time, my major givable fuck was about being a great coach, being prepared, and outworking the other guy.  What I stopped caring about was my own health.

I convinced myself I didn’t have time to work out. Every free minute went into coaching. It started to take a toll, not just on me but on my wife too. She didn’t get the version of me that was driven and focused; she got the version that was stressed, self-medicating, and honestly not fun to be around. Then football turned into basketball season, and the habits followed right along with it.

To be clear, I wasn’t drinking every night, but more than my norm. I also wasn’t drinking with the intent of getting drunk.

I was too busy to cook, so dinners became a rotation of Chinese, Italian, or just going to the bar. Wins were celebrated, losses were drowned, and everything revolved around stress, food, and drinks.

I felt terrible.

I avoided the scale. I went from large shirts to XLs, mostly to hide the fact that I was the heaviest I had ever been.

And honestly? I was waiting for New Year’s.  I know myself. I knew when that ball dropped, so would mine. Something would click, and it would be time to get healthy again.

I’m happy to report that as I’m writing this, I’m about 15 pounds lighter. I’ve taken a break from drinking. I’m still focused on coaching, but now during my lunch break I walk and listen to coaching tapes.

Right now, I’m about two-thirds of the way through a 75-day challenge. My finish date is March 16th… one day before St. Patrick’s Day. Maybe the fates aligned so I can have a responsible drink. Or maybe they’re telling me to enjoy a non-alcoholic beer.

More and more, I find the saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” to be true. The real question for me is this: This summer, will I justify self-destructive habits in the name of being a good coach? I hope not. I think not.

f you’re waiting for the perfect time to start… don’t. That time doesn’t exist. Start messy, start imperfect, just start. And if you need help, you know where to find me.